


Steve and Tony Walk Into a Bar

by Impala_Chick



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkward Dates, Crack, Double Dating, Getting Together, Jealousy, M/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Pining, Scheming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 08:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7215034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Chick/pseuds/Impala_Chick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony walk into a bar and end up with phone numbers from different suitors. Steve won't agree to date the woman until Tony sets up a double date. The double date does not go well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steve and Tony Walk Into a Bar

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt: http://illbetherestonyfest.tumblr.com/post/145397283714/prompt-for-illbethere-fest-any-steve-and-tony#notes
> 
> Also, my fascination with the new Tesla Model S leaked into this fic. I think Tony would agree that it's quite the machine.

Steve is the first one to admit that he does not get much down time, and that is mostly by his own design. Steve would also admit that he and Tony are workaholics, and maybe that’s the one and only thing they have in common. 

Both of those facts alone would explain why Clint was currently astounded, and why Natasha was going to have to explain why Steve and Tony were walking into the same bar Natasha and Clint were seated in.

~~~

It all started on an uncharacteristically quiet afternoon, during a round of sparring with Natasha.

“You and Stark want to go to a bar tonight?” She asked after she landed a punch to Steve’s ribs.

“You’d have to ask Stark,” Steve replied, grabbing her arm to pull her off balance.

She went into a tumble and came up swinging.

“I already did,” she said before she lunged forward.

“And he said yes?” Steve was so incredulous that he didn’t react in time to deflect Natasha’s punch and took it right in the face.

“I’m picking you losers up at 9. Good thing your face will heal.” Natasha smirked before she walked off the sparring mat.

~~~

Natasha, Tony, and Steve were all seated at the bar, nursing their drinks. Since Steve couldn’t get drunk on normal alcohol, he used opportunities such as this to taste different drinks. It wasn’t worth drinking if it didn’t taste good. Tony, on the other hand, always ordered whiskey in a round glass with a perfect ball-shaped ice cube. Steve was definitely not watching when Tony brought the glass up to his lips.

A short brunette woman with a commanding gaze walked up and sat on the barstool next to Steve. She made a joke about Steve’s drink – it had an umbrella sticking out of it, to be fair – and then asked if she could buy him another. Steve let himself enjoy her company, and soon enough she was sliding her number across the bar on a napkin. Steve pocketed it and smiled at her. Maybe going out wasn’t such a bad idea.

Steve had been so immersed in conversation he hadn’t noticed that Tony had left until Tony was walking back to the bar. Only now, he had a tall blonde man in tow. Steve watched curiously as Tony bought the man a drink. Steve did his best not to stare, but he tried to catch Natasha’s eye before Tony collected the drink and sauntered off with the new man. Natasha was flirting with her own prospect, and didn’t notice. Steve couldn’t help but feel flabbergasted. It was like he didn’t know his team _at all_. 

The new guy was hanging back a little and let Tony walk in front, clearly to enjoy the view of Tony’s ass in his slacks. Steve couldn’t help but be offended, if only on behalf of Tony’s honor.

Veronica, the brunette, patted Steve’s arm and told him to call sometime. Then, she kissed him on the cheek before she walked away to join her friends. Steve wondered if it was too early to call it a night, but he couldn’t pull Natasha away from her conversation without her waiving him off. Tony was nowhere to be found for nearly two hours. Steve swirled his drink around, grumpily wondering what could be so interesting about Tony’s new man that he couldn’t even come sit at the bar with his friends.

~~~ 

The next weekend, when it turned out the world was not in need of the Avengers, Steve was persuaded into double dating. Tony said he’d make all the arrangements, provided that Steve didn’t care that Tony’s date was a man. Tony’s devilish smile should have tipped Steve off that this wasn’t going to be just any normal date.

Steve put on his tight gray dress slacks and a blue button-down. He only owned so many dress clothes, after all. He gelled his hair and then called Veronica to make sure a double date was acceptable. She agreed, and Steve picked her up so that the pair of them could meet Tony and his date at the Avengers helipad. Veronica looked great in a tight black dress, but it was the sight of Tony wearing a well-fitting black tux that made Steve immediately feel under-dressed. 

Tony took them up into the air for a tour of the New York skyline before they landed outside of a fancy restaurant. The walls were made of glass and filled with colorful fish that swam by as Tony regaled the group with Avengers stories. 

Steve only chimed in occasionally, when Tony’s tales were getting a little too tall. 

“And then Cap literally dove under a moving truck on his shield, immerged from the other side, and ripped the alien’s head off,” Tony finished, with hand motions to demonstrate.

“Okay, the truck was stopped at a red light. And the alien’s neck was severed by the shield.” Steve smiled as he explained, and Tony rolled his eyes at him.

“But you get the idea,” Tony said before continuing on. Steve watched the way Tony’s hands moved as he continued to talk about the other Avengers, almost reverently, and Steve couldn’t help but feel like being out semi-publicly with Tony was much different than being at work with Tony. 

Steve happened to notice the blonde man next to Tony slid his hand up Tony’s thigh, and Steve’s hand jerked in surprise. He hit his glass of water, and it toppled over. Some of it splashed onto the blonde man.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Steve mumbled as he handed him a napkin. Steve was sure his ears had turned pink from embarrassment, but the blonde just laughed it off. Steve didn’t dare look at Tony.

After dinner, Tony whisked the four of them off to a private high-tech car show. All the manufacturers that were present kept complimenting “Mr. Stark” and handed out an endless supply of champagne and chocolate cake.

Tony’s date, the blonde, kept leaning in towards Tony and curling his arm around his waist. Clearly, the man was impressed. And why shouldn’t he be? 

Steve let his eyes wander over Tony’s face as he talked to his date. Tony’s eyes lit up as he laughed, and the corners of his mouth turned upwards in a delightful way. He adjusted his glasses, and gestured at the cars as he led the group around. His energy was bright enough to fill the room. It was as if everything else faded away.

Steve’s date had completely abandoned her attempt at conversation with Steve and instead was climbing in and out of all the new cars, but Steve couldn’t blame her. He’d hardly spoken two words to her all night. Steve suddenly felt supremely awkward. His date was going horribly, Tony was acting like everything was normal, and Steve was itching to jump out of his own skin or hide under a cold shower. Anything to break the tension he was feeling.

Tony, Steve and the blonde were standing outside of a brand new electric Tesla Model S, waiting for Veronica, when Tony started talking about the capabilities of the vehicle.

“The dash has a 17” screen where you can access everything in one place. It has the lowest drag coefficient of any production car, at 0.24,” Tony gushed. Tony’s eyes roamed the car like a kid looking under a Christmas tree.

His date looked on curiously, a puzzled look on his face.

“Why does that matter?” the blonde asked.

“Because the car can go fast. The lower the drag, the faster the car,” Steve answered for Tony, annoyed.

Tony looked over at Steve, his face both surprised and amused. He tried to hide his smirk, but Steve caught it.

“Look, uh, maybe we should call it a night?” Steve said, looking over at Veronica as she climbed out of the Tesla. 

“Ya, it is getting late,” Tony agreed as he looked at his watch.

The four of them walked outside, and Veronica graciously kissed Steve on the cheek. 

“I’ll catch a cab or something, sweetheart. I think you should talk to your friend. I had a great time, though!” She pulled out her phone, thanked Tony, and was on her way. Steve scrubbed his hand through his hair, and was hovering somewhere between embarrassed and mortified.

Tony hailed a cab for his date. As the blonde got in, Steve heard him ask, “Maybe another date sometime?”

“Not likely,” Tony replied before he shut the cab door. Steve started laughing so hard he almost doubled over.

“Harsh, Stark,” Steve started to say, except Tony’s serious expression stopped him. 

“We are not doing that again.” Tony briskly walked passed Steve, looking angry. Steve was slightly alarmed.

“I hope not,” Steve agreed, not sure how to placate Tony. 

“You spilled water on my date.” Tony turned back around, his hands on his hips.

“Uh, sorry?” Steve offers, still not sure what he was supposed to do.

“You had a terrible time,” Tony continued.

“Not because of you. Your date was a grade A idiot,” Steve quickly responded.

Tony took a hesitant step forward.

“Kiss me.” 

Steve was so shocked that he was certain he had misheard.

“You know, if you want to,” Tony added, shrugging. Tony cast his eyes downward, as if he was embarrassed. Steve couldn’t have that. He reached his hand out to hold Tony’s arm steady, and swooped in for the kiss. 

Tony’s lips were soft and pliant and he sighed into the kiss. Steve plunged his tongue past Tony’s lips to lick inside. 

Tony’s other arm snaked around Steve’s waist, and Steve felt the tension leak out of his body. Steve finally pulled back to stare at Tony’s kiss-swollen lips.  
“You wanna got to a bar, Stark?” Steve asked.

“A date? Thought you’d never ask, Rogers.” 

~~~

Steve knew just the place, considering Natasha had raved to him about it. He and Tony made their way down the sidewalk, laughing and joking. When they entered the seedy dive, Steve grabbed Tony’s hand.

It was just bright enough for Clint, sitting at a barstool, to notice who had just walked in _holding hands_. His jaw practically hit the floor. Natasha, seated next to Clint, just smiled and waved. Tony and Steve nodded before continuing on down the bar.

Clint turned to Natasha.

“Spill.”

“Gladly,” Natasha said. This night couldn’t have gone better if she had planned it.


End file.
